Lia's Pensieve

“The best thing about life is knowing you put it together”

- A Warm Place, Nine Inch Nails. Written by Trent Reznor.

ps I love Rocky Horror Picture Show

Laura’s Blog got me thinking about how the media affects me and those I know. Thumbsucker,

The Truth Board blog “Grand Theft Auto”

This man “You know, there is a lot of comedy on TV, but do we see people committing acts of random funniness in the streets?
(amazing quote from V for Vendetta added, related)

“We are oft to blame in this, – / ‘Tis too much proved – that with devotion’s visage/ And pious action we do sugar o’er/ The devil himself. ”

from Shakespeare’s Hamlet Act 3, Scene 1

Laura’s Blog got me thinking about how the media affects me and those I know. I questioned not only how it affects are conversations and such but the way we act. It reminds me of this fabulous argument in one of my favorite movies Thumbsucker. The scene it reminds me of argues of the affects of TV to a person, an answer that seems is obvious, that media images do indeed affect you, because everything else around you does, but then brings it back to ancient times.

Mark: I concur, but lets go farther; TV contributes to the decay of the American Family. And once the family goes, down go our institutions and up goes our drug abuse. Ditto to gambling and pornography.

Justin: You have no evidence to support that claim. Images aren’t reality. Violence in art goes back to Egypt. What’s important is teaching people to be skeptical, to draw the line, to distinguish between images and life. Lisa, what’s your opinion?

Lisa: You’re right, TV is not real.

Mark: Hold on, reality is not the point here. Social decline is.

Justin: Kate, reaction?

Kate: Oh, no go ahead.

Justin: Mark, I understand the spirit of your refutation, but society and its conception of reality are inextricable.

I believe that the character Justin in this scene has the perfect case. There are many relevant examples to the topic including Egypt which is used. Of course that is a legitimate source for there was violence, slavery, prohibition, extortion of women in their art. In the days of Kings and Queens there was no celebrities like Paris Hilton. You know who served as the equivalent? The king and queen.  There is not only an image or art to show the morals of them time and perfection of there era for each time on earth, but within groups everywhere. Real life examples range to those most devote Catholics the Pope is the image held as a celebrity to them, to follow and strive to be like. Not to mention the Bible, a piece of art you might say, is there to guide them throughout life. But in the spirit of current times we are to believe skinny is beautiful and blonde is hot or whatever. With this trend and fashion we must remember: like everything before, and everything after, it will change. It’s a mere fashion of the moment, it could last a hundred years, true, but you must put it in perspective. In the whole span of human activity on this planet it is merely a speck on the time spectrum. The thing is communication is so broad nowadays that you can’t ignore these idols or images, they surround you. It’s changed though now video games and multimedia objects (such as TVs and the Internet and magazines) are getting the blame for increase in eating disorders and violence and crime rates.

As found evident when The Truth Board blog states,

“And in every tabloid, there is the constant weight loss or weight gain comparison among celebrities.”

That is indeed a true statement, you need only look at a cover of any magazine to figure that out. Then it goes on to say,

“This damage the media is causing, results in young girls developing poor eating habits or even eating disorders in order to emulate those images the media is setting for them.”

This is also true but it isn’t necessarily the medias fault. Who is to blame for the these developing habits? First of all, Anorexia and Bulimia are physiological disorders, they need serious help. Not everyone is that serious, most people are just are on “diets” and feel the need to be “skinny”. Can you blame the parents? For not raising them to follow the media images serious, and the fact there children were never taught to “draw the line”. The Media? That provide us with disturbing images of violence, or offering images as to what is “perfection”. Or is it just you alone for believing it ? Violence is also continuously an example: that video game violence accounts for real life violence. Scientists can never be sure, because you can never be. Just because you played “Grand Theft Auto” one day and happen to hit someone 4 months later could not be a direct result of just a video game. They can not effect you to that extent, unless of course you have bigger problems. The truth of the matter is there are millions of people who play or have played video games and have never had a violent tendency as a direct  result. I consider myself in that.

Violence and celebrities isn’t the only thing on TV either, their is Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune, Amazing Race and Survivor. This man made a brilliant comment on that when he said, “You know, there is a lot of comedy on TV, but do we see people committing acts of random funniness in the streets?“. Exactly, there isn’t people going on “Amazing Races” either or just asking their friends trivia (of course there are exceptions, but daily? no). For ever bad show there is a good one. Even with violent or inappropriate shows, you don’t have to watch them! It’s absolutely out of your own volition! Or the parents! Games, shows, movies and music have ratings or on late at night for a reason. The kids are going to discover violence and “perfection” and lose their innocence inevitably. They want to beat someone up? It is because they want to do it. Grand Theft Auto does not encourage it, and true, it does say not to do it either. It is simply a little thing called entertainment. Entertainment, such as Jeopardy!, baseball, CSI, and Full House. Full House doesn’t make me want to go out and be best best friends with my brother, nor does CSI make me want to be a forensics investigator. When I get angry (as “violent” as a I get) it is because someone made me angry, not because of Grand Theft Auto. Nor do I base my morals off of it; it is almost like a dream, not real, but fun to think about nonetheless.

Back to Laura’s Blog, I think Laura brings up a fantastic point when she says, “You may doubt yourself, but why? Why do you have to accept what they tell you as true? I think that as we watch our shows like Gossip Girl we have to remember that its not real.” Especially that last part I want to stress,  “We have to remember it’s not real.” I personally think it isn’t real and that you shouldn’t doubt yourself (unless of course health is at risk) based on what the media says because it isn’t true….it’s opinion. Though to many people fall victim to media’s tricks we need to raise our children to know they are beautiful no matter what: That the looks aren’t the important thing, especially as you age.

Still though, why does it affect us? Fear, I say. Fear of judgment. If we are striving to be perfect maybe we will be. Quite honestly though, perfection even in your own eyes is intangible, you will always will want to change bits and and pieces, wasting your life away. Though we don’t want to be called names and be laughed at so we try to make ourselves perfect for other people, hardly do we ever try to perfect ourselves for ourselves. Naturally, of course, the media influence us, but it’s all human nature to have heroes and all, I like to believe. So in conclusion, you have to raise awareness of where to draw the line because there are good idols out there.  You just have to teach them to choose that no one should make them change to “fit in” or “be cool”; that some drunk, unhealthily skinny, girl is not who you want to be like.

I’d like to know though,

How do you let media influence you?

Where do you draw the line?

How did you learn to draw the line?

“You got to make some sacrifices. What ever happened to “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”? What ever happened to “life’s not fair”? What ever happened to “Okay, you have to make a sacrifice, you have to make a choice, you can not do both things? You can not be both things, at once. But in America we applaud people for trying to do two things at once. If you want to give sensual body massages while juggling chainsaws, that makes sense to us! We commend you for trying to make those two totally incongruous things work together, because we are stupid people and we like the idea that we don’t have to sacrifice anything. That we don’t have to make difficult choices. That we can do everything we want to do, regardless or whether or not they are at odds with one another.” – From This Youtube video. Brilliant. By the way….I am not an Atheist and this guy curses….a lot.

We live in a world where technology becomes more and more advanced. It has come to a point where our people and society can not function without it. We rely on it so much. Without it my mom would not have a job, we wouldn’t have a car, or live where we live now, and we wouldn’t get half the food we get today. Everyday, every hour, technology is effecting you. Everything, except in the depths of the wild (yet at least), technology has touched. Farming? Plowed and harvested with machines. Your house? Built with machines. Your computer, lights, toilets, television, food, water, medicine, clothes, hair products all have one thing in common: Technology, has either made them, distributed them, or aided them in someway. Of course we have it to thank for that, medicine and chemotherapy machines, our houses, food and all. It now makes no difference whatsoever if you are in the cubical next to me, across the classroom, a floor below or above me, or across the Atlantic. You must remember everything has an equal and opposite reaction. As technology gives and gives and gives, and we take and take and take, it takes something from us: ourselves, and our sacrifices.

Think about learning. Think about how you do it. School, the people around you’s experience, your experience, the internet.With technology you no longer need school or those peoples’ opinion in person, the internet can do that now. You no longer need no person to person contact. It is really scary if you think about it. They can not take away your person experience though. One thing no one can take from you. The thing is, people don’t go out in the wild these days, or live on whim. They live off a computer, it commands their life, they can be in touch with everyone, all the time. Updating their facebook or twitter status, checking in on other people, texting other people, watching TV online (getting rid of TV). It’s slowly destroying us all, and we are letting it. We are obsessed, clinging to the thought of always knowing where and what everyone is doing! Why, I ask, why? Trillions before us have lived without this and why is it now we can’t live without it? What is it about other people’s lives that intrigue us so dearly? That, we think everyone wants to know what were doing all the time. I personally think people just want to be wanted. They want people to be interested, be mysterious to people have them wonder about what there doing, or straight up have them know what they are doing. A celebrity among friends. “Oh did you hear Kelcie is going to that movie?” or “Did you see Kelly’s status about Paranormal Activity? Well, she hated it” it creates drama but also can build a relationship but no matter which it does, we love it regardless, or we forgive it really. With me though, I like being alone sometimes, though now I feel I can’t be! I can’t just shut off everything, I can’t explain it, really, but I just can’t. It is our natural instinct to be interested in other people but it has gone to far: we are into deep now to get ourselves out. Technology stops us from exploring the outside. We no longer need an imagination everything we could ever imagine! Want! Need! All on the internet, thing you have never even thought of! We have turned into computers. And to honestly think my children will not play outside, as I played, had the imagination, I had, feel the fresh air and only know there own natural surroundings, exploring the world. The real world. Instead technology has become to real world. As much as technology as helped us, the fact that my children won’t have these same experiences makes me upset, it really does. As much as I’ll kick ‘em outside, I know it will never be the same. As mine was not like my parent’s. I wish teenagers my age would still explore the woods, play with what they could find, or just good for endless bike rides (something I still do, but not nearly enough).

Now there is another thing: Sacrifice. It has almost been rid of in our communities, nation and world. I thoroughly believe that quote that we get applauded for trying to do so many things, that it is easy and widely accepted to take the easy way out and do everything. Though really what DID happen to “Life is not fair” and “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”? The truth of the matter is, you use to not be able to do it all. Now with technology, better health, longer life spans, we almost can do it all….or think we can. We are encouraged to take all honors, do three clubs and be on two sports teams. But honestly, is it good for you? I say no. It’s too much for a person. We may be physically tough, but mentally we are all weak no matter the facade you put on. We can’t psychologically carry it all, we are, after all, only humans. So instead of doing the musical AND softball you have to choose. The thing is, we don’t. We put all this stress on this on ourselves, stress that breaks people down to they practically can’t even function anymore. Whose fault is it? None but our own and our societies. If my friend can do it all, they I need to not only do what she does, but go beyond it. We are all competing for a goal that is nonexistent. You and your buddy in high school are people not going for the same career so why try to outdo her for something that is not even there? Again, competition, human nature. Anyways, back to sacrifice. Life is not fair. It isn’t, but now it is. Then there is the opposite of trying to much, not trying at all. Taking it as it comes, you might say. You don’t get one thing? Whatever, no big deal, give up, try something new. That isn’t what you should do though! It is a big deal! You need to keep trying, enduring and whatnot. Life isn’t fair, but that doesn’t mean you have to accept it! With all these options now, life is fair and easy. Though satisfaction, at least for me doesn’t come from easy things. Challenges, sacrifice, tough decisions. They make you, and you alone, grow, know, share and only help you. If you never have to sacrifice anything you never go through the tough times that make you stronger. You learn how to really live. Technology, learning to accept the easy style, take it as it comes, or over-stress yourself with all your extra-curriculars and such you are not learning by how they use to. We are having our cake and eating it too. It may sound nice, but it makes you even weaker, especially if you aren’t making these hard decisions from a young age. Learning to make them as an adult is brutal for a human being. You must build up your mental strength, just as you build up physical. People can’t handle this now a days. Mental disorder, drug abuse, and just other problems in general sky rocket as a result in my opinion. Though sacrifice doesn’t sound good, or making hard decisions doesn’t sound nice, and you’d think it would be better without them you just have to remember is pretty much incontrovertible that you will have to make decisions someday to not do it all, again, do not ever forget: You are human and being thus you have to let stuff go, you have to make decisions you have to sacrifice in order to gain. It’s just the way the world works and technology and advancements may facilitate learning and multitasking but it can not make you stronger, I believe. If anything it makes you more scatter-brained and under pressure, all the time. Sacrifice makes where you you may give up one, but consequently having more time for the most important person in your life: You.

Lia Marie Antoinette Ferrante

By the way….the last sentence sounds selfish as crap but I just mean that truly, no one will look out for you besides yourself. You must love your neighbor (and I do I love a lot a lot of people and care about them) and all but sometimes you have to think about yourself, you do. Sometimes you need to step back from it all and ask yourself “Wait, what about me? How does this affect me? Do I, myself need help? How do I feel?” you just have to. People can always turn on you, but you can’t. Hell, maybe I’m just in a bad mood. It happens.

“You can tie rock to my soul, but you can’t build a prison for my mind, no, you can chain my body to thee earth, but still my spirit flies, my spirit flies.”

- “Is Anybody Listening?” From Ten Commandments – Preformed by Adam Lambert, the love of my life.

I, like usual, have been reading Harry Potter. While reading, it I came across a line, that spoke to me. I mean, there are quotes that often stand out to me, but this one stood out in particular. “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that” (from “The Mirror Of Erised,” Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, by J.K Rowling). What it says to me is that dreaming is nice but it doesn’t get you anywhere. I’m not so sure though. Dreams are a funny thing if you think about it. We have them from such a young age and continue to have them throughout our entire lives. As a child you dream of being older, being a police officer, a dinosaur. Maybe just for the moment, you dream of having a cookie for breakfast or something silly that pleases us in our childhood. As an adult, or at least older more conscious person hearing the dreams of a child you should, and ought to always support them. It’s not necessarily the dream itself but the idea behind it: the thought that if you dream it can happen. It is very important, especially from a young age when you are developing habits and ways of life that will mostly stick with you, that you have goals and dreams. If you just support them you are sorely missing something vital; that you have to work for dreams. Not only work, but work till you finish. If you plan to do something but leave it unfinished, it becomes a problem. Children and well, people in general should know to start something and finish it. children should know to have a dream. Though it is possible to not have a dream. A dream is very fragile: it can be affected by a single moment in your life that spends it spiraling into another direction. Maybe a pet died and now you suddenly want to become a Veterinarian. You could have seen a brutal surgery and don’t want to become a doctor anymore. Perhaps you saw toddlers learning and want to become a teacher, or you read an article about something that seriously interested you and that is what you want to go into, it’s perfect. They change dreams, and that is okay.

Most people say starting the task is thee hardest part. I disagree. It is the finishing that is the trouble, at least for me, especially if I am in love with something. For instance, I start an art project. Okay, you have to plan, and you are a little scatter-brained, as you should be. Then you get to work, and it just flows out like words onto paper. Art in motion. Then suddenly something I put a lot of effort into, something I am quite proud of is done. But not quite. I still want to change little bits, add more, or less. I don’t want to let it go, but as with everything, you have to let it go. Finishing, letting go, one in the same. It is like a mother who watches her child grow up, like an art project develops into something beautiful; then one day, inevitably, she has to let him or her go and allow him or her to fend for his or herself. Or maybe you read a really spectacular book, but you have to read the end, some sort of closure.

Nowadays, it seems to me that people leave so much unfinished. I am not just talking books, or art projects. I am talking more than that, extending to relationships and dreams. By relationships I am trying to say they have a beautiful one with someone and one day they fight. Sure they become friends again, but without any real apology or closure which leaves both sides to wonder; still a bit bitter on the inside, which is held on so that nothing is really the same till that closure happens. Even in divorce, sure they move out and move on but sometimes neither even really know why, or how, it happen. People are getting divorces left and right, like they were just bored. Though usually one in the relationship, the victim of the others games, never really knows the truth and it hurts them. It’s simple: people find safety and comfort in, even if its bad, closure, reasoning.* Everyday millions, and millions, and millions of questions are left unanswered. It leaves a man to wonder, wonder about everything.

Back to the dream though.

The dream as a child has now evolved: the teenager. Adolescence. When you finally realize you are alive and you are you. You pick your friends, your way of life, interests, dreams, a precursor to the rest of your life. Though, I believe, this stage is when dreams are put on hold, temporarily. At least way less dominant in the bulk of us. We have lapses of judgment, our learning experience. We think about dreams and such but they aren’t the same those childhood ones. Where you use to dream of being a princess, you now dream of college some of us, for knowledge, others for the parties. The thing with these dreams though is we doubt them. It’s not unusual to doubt yourself or your dreams, especially at an age where judgment decides your fate. You ask yourself: Do I want to be a teacher when I grow up? Do I want to even go to college? Do I even want to finish high school? without a doubt these will cross your mind, in one way or another. You are forced to think about the future, though we try not. That is probably the reason for the bad choices as an adolescent. We think about now, now, now not tomorrow and especially not ten years from now.

Through our doubts and confused, almost dazed judgment, we just continue till it is time to make decisions, the big 18. Time to answer those questions you tried hard to ignore (the most of my lot at least), like perhaps they were going to just go away: your own personal judgment day. This is where your dreams come into play. The dream that has been in the back of your head for the last about let’s say about six years? Over those years of adolescent your hobbies and interests develop, you drop the ones less important and go more into those that truly, thoroughly intrigue you. There is your answer. That is what you want to study or be when you grow up. Perhaps you aren’t lucky enough as those people who know what they want to do and you’re in one of two other situations: You have no idea what you want to do or you’re keen on so much you aren’t sure which one exactly (my problem is the latter). You are certainly not alone. There are adults with jobs who don’t know what they want to be; some may never know, it’s quite sad really.

Then finally there is the adult dream. Or searching for the dream. Because at this point it is you, and you alone, to make your dream come true. To finish what you started, or to start it and finish it. Some spend there whole life searching, others and most not so much. People fall back on common dreams like to get married, have children, but they can do those and strive for more and more. Is it a bad thing to always want more? Perhaps. Not everything is possible as harsh as that sounds; there are limits, bodily and time-space wise. It’s not even that though, people if they are always striving for more, tend to take for granted what they have or already made. They need to learn to appreciate more, at least I think so. With adults I feel as if there dream isn’t so much a dream, but remising. Clinging onto memories and good times as an adolescent thinking, dreaming about what they would or wouldn’t change. These types of dreams are a wicked kind, because no matter how hard you try you can’t have them come true. You could perhaps call those dreams regret or if it is good, remising. That is why the feeling of nastoliga is often so brilliant. Whatever you call it, it happens to everyone. I know, I know, I know, it’s cliche and I really do hate cliches but, we do all want what we can’t have at some point or another. The truth of the matter is we all want those questions I was talking about before, answered, we want comfort. Logic. Reasoning.* The adult dream, that is more tangable, is more subtle changes such as a promotion, an especially nice dinner. At this point any other dream seems almost useless, obsolete in a sense that if they suddenly want to be a doctor, it’s too late. It’s not of course, though the road will, and would, be difficult it can happen. Though I think most wouldn’t even want to go through all that after they are already older with another career. Again, most of this is guessing and based on observation due to the fact that I am not an adult. Yet.

That is why dreams are important. They give you reason so you regret less. Ambition is key to success and success (of course, in the eye of the beholder) is what life is all about. Personal success. Be that as it may, could come from just having a child or a stable job. Dreams distract you from drugs or bad decisions because you can’t be having those petty problems getting in the way. So when good ‘ole Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore said “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that” I think he meant best. I think he meant that you should have dreams but not just think about them, but live them. Remember that. He always knows what is talking about. Dreams are infinite only held back but the close-minded thoughts of today’s society. Dreams can help you and allow you to think outside the box, as you should. Dream on for dreaming is something that no one can ever take from you.

* Side Note: This part is mainly influenced by an article Miss Stutzman sent me about the illogical and comforts of knowing everything.

Side Note : “A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes” just came up on shuffle, coincidence? I think not. My Ipod knows best.

Lia Marie Antoinette Ferrante

Quotes / Song Lyrics:

“There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.”

- Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“I don’t think you’re a waste of space.”

- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

“Ten years old it’s something to see
Another kid my age drugged under a jeep
Taken and bound and found later under a tree
I wonder if he had thought the next one could be me

Do you see the soldiers they’re out today
They brush the dust from bullet proof vests away
It’s ironic at times like this you pray
But a bomb blew the mosque up yesterday

There’s bombs in the buses, bikes, roads
Inside your market, your shops, your clothes
My dad he’s got a lot of fear I know
But enough pride inside not to let that show

My brother had a book he would hold with pride
A little red cover with a broken spine
On the back, he hand-wrote a quote inside
When the rich wage war it’s the poor who die.”

- “Hands Held High” – Linkin Park

“Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes”

- “Mr.Brightside” – The Killers

“That was you up on the mountain
All alone and all surrounded
Walking on the ground you’re breaking
Laughing at the life you’re wasting
1 – 2 tries won’t do it
You do it all your life and you never get through it
Everything they had to say
Had been erased in just one day
“Good try, we don’t like it”
“Good try, we won’t take that shit.”"

- “I Can’t Win” – The Strokes

“I got soul, but I’m not a soilder.”

- “All These Things That I’ve Done” – The Killers

“Let the dream begin, let your darker side give in, to the power which you know you can not fight, the power of the music of the night.”

- “The Music Of The Night” – The Phantom Of The Opera (the title is from that song as well)

“There’s a darkness,
Which comes without a warning,
But I will sing you lullabies and wake you in the morning.”

- “Fantine’s Death” – Les Miserables
“There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he’ll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I’m living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.”

- “I Dreamed A Dream” – Les Miserables

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yt-IBJpEMzA&feature=fvw <—- “I Dreamed A Dream” from Les Miserables. The orchestra is beautiful. Ruthie Henshall (Fantine) is the most beautiful singer I have heard in my entire life I’m pretty sure. So much emotion/power in this song. Especially if you know the story. Listen to it!

on a lighter note..

I’ve decided I want to learn more about motivation (as inspired by Ms.Hersey and Ms. Stutz). The first part of learning for me is evaluation what you already know, or at least think you know. Motivation. Ambition. Drive. Inspiration. Heart. Goal. What ever you want to call it. It what makes you do, or not do, anything. It can decide what you want to be when you grow up, go to school, have a family, a job, be on a sports team. Everything requires motivation, from going to the bathroom to getting food for yourself. Sure some things are easy to do because you’ll die without them (i.e sleep, food, bathroom) whereas others are optional, and perhaps the easier choice is to do nothing. Motivation is again, one of those things, that makes us all the same.

There is two types of motivation that I know of. First is peer motivation. Someone is persuading and coercing you to do something. Encouraging and guiding. Threatening and demanding. All types are to stimulate your motivation. People constantly are asking favors and such or wanting you to be as excited at something, perhaps you aren’t interested in, and just get involved! They try to convince you that doing this is great or helpful to you in someway. Much like advertisements they try to make you feel you are inferior without and certain object, or enhanced with it. I feel as if people can either motivate you or un-motivate you or disinterest you from doing this by trying to motivate you, the opposite of the reaction they want. Why? We don’t want to be forced or harassed over and over to do something we don’t even like that much to begin with. I’m more likely to do something after some asks me once, if they give me a little time, then do something after someone keeps asking and asking. At least, repetition annoys me and turns me away from such things. Not to mention people just don’t want to do things all the time, maybe they are having a bad day or are just too tired, yet, any other day they would be glad to do it.

The other kind of motivation is the most important. Self-Motivation. No matter what, you make your final decision. No matter how much someone tries to interest or disinterest you from something like college, you decide if you want to go. You decide if you want to take out the trash today. Or go get a job. Or even go get yourself food. Your passions for various things drive what you do and your hatred turns you off. But passion can change, you can really really love school one year and then the next year you can just be bored or tired of it, tired of repetition, the people or whatever. Something has happen that shifts your passion. It’s okay to change what you love, as long as you are motivated to do something, anything. You need motivation for personal and world success in anything. It gets you somewhere only yourself can take you.

Here are some questions I want to have answered about motivation I want to learn more about, Why are we attracted to different things? Is family or how you were raised choosing what you like, or is it yourself? How does motivation change over time? Why are some people for pessimistic or optimistic and enthusiastic than others? What is Motivation defined as? How is it different in boys or girls? What else effects your motivation? Hopefully I will get all these questions answered.

I’d write more but I’m like thoroughly exhausted and I’m really glad we have this break. Worry not, I shall write more later. This is not to say I am not motivated or love english, because I am and I do. Person needs a break sometimes, eh?

What came first the chicken or the egg?

The perhaps most logical answer would be “a circle has no beginning”. But to that you know everything has to start somewhere. Though everything in our lives seems like a cycle. A cycle of feelings and such that is the same for us as everyone, your mother, your father, your best friend, our ancestors. Feelings are recycled, as is knowledge. The cycle of the seasons are as inevitable as ever. Questions we still have today that are larger than science can answer, still are asked today, with guesses as best answers. Most everything has been thought of before. Going back to what I said about feelings being recycled, I think it can explain why as a child or teenager can some times not handle things or more inclined to do something bad with a feeling of excitement. Something new. New is an exuberant, liberating feeling.

Experience of these new emotions when you start to realize what your body can do, how powerful you truly are as a human being. It can be overwhelming, and you must first try and fail and see what your good at. Deep your feet in. Test your strength and weakness at the mere age of what, about 10 and beyond? As a child are you know is happiness and anger and being upset. That’s as far as you think it goes. Now you learn depression, frustrations, pressures and harsh harsh realities of the real world. It’s brutal it really is, and the truth of the matter is no one really wants to grow up. It’d be nice to have the innocence and carelessness of a child at all times; but you tune into the news one evening and you learn not everyone is nice and how scary it can be, especially to be on your own. The first time you deal with true sadness it tests your reactions, how you cope, and who is there to help you. It’s important for a child to know from a young age that they have help out there; before it reaches so deep with them, at such a young age and tears them apart limb from organ and they are left with thoughts of hopelessness. Something no child should have to go through. It’s a dark place inside all of us, but when it is first experience is the hardest times.

As a kid anger happens, more than once a day usually. They get angry, minutes pass and so does the anger already. Anger is can almost be as bad as, if not worse, than sadness. Anger threats a persons well being and others, so does sadness, but anger is more likely too, in my opinion. Teenage “angsty” years are when some of the worse anger can happen, when we throw around phrases like “I hate the world, everyone in it” or a low blow at some close saying “I hate you”. It’s not even the phrase it’s whats behind it. It seems to build up and up and explodes. Some explode once every couple a years, others on a daily basis. Rage is normal of course, but scary. For me when I get angry, truly enraged (which isn’t often), you don’t even know who you are anymore. I say things or thing thinks I can’t believe I would say and it doesn’t feel like me. Teenagers need to be taught not to get angry at every little things and do things to alleviate stress without drugs or alcohol. Which brings me to my next point of how we shouldn’t become reliant on things to make us happy that are materialistic as a teenager. That’s what leads to harder drugs. You start with the ever-so-satisfying cigarettes and then it gets harder and harder as you don’t get the same happiness you got the first time you tried it. You need a new feeling, new happiness, not the recycled one now.

This continues on and on with different emotions. But the cycle is for other things too. We eat, we sleep, we work. Living is no where in there. We become robots and sometimes you need to break the cycle to have a little fun in there, like on the weekends. But then it starts again. It’s not that it’s bad, nor good, but it’s most definitely unavoidable. You need to sleep, and eat. To provide food and bed you need a job. When you have a job you need to work. To work you need energy also known as sleep and food. It is all one. All connected. All needed for life. You learn that as you grow up when, usually, your guardian provides for you until, little by little, they are letting you start to fend for yourself in the battle of life. We must learn how to deal with these cycles because its we will be experiencing the rest of our lives. You must be careful with children and teens and teach them good habits and answer to problems now.

You can not forget cycling questions. They range from questions about where you came from, to where you where go. But also questions you ask yourself, most often at your darkest times. Am I the only one feeling this way? Do I have anyone? Of course not and of course you do. It’s just something everyone experiences. They say someone has to leave for you to miss it. Like some part of you has to be let go for you to appreciate it later. People in the beginning of the world thought it, people in the future will. You have, I have, Everyone you know probably has or will. We all share these cycles. Life is a cycle and the most important thing to do is endure. Just endure. Above anything endure. Who is saying its worth it? You’re alive and so I am, and it is most definitely worth it. You must never think yourself more or less important than other because that is the demise of everything. In the words of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, “Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving.”

I go with everyone else and say both come first and neither came first. So, I believe we are not the start or end of our own cycling. Just a part of it. We are all connected. Everything is connected if you look closely enough. The ending and the beginning are one in the same as are you and I. We have the start to our own individual cycle but it is a cycle we all face we are trapped by it but are all human because of it. We affected those after us as the ones before us affected us. Remember: Endure, endure, endure. We are all in this together. We might as well love each other because at the end of the day we are all each other has.

Lia Marie Antoinette Ferrante

“The sun was coming up: The pure, colorless vastness of the sky stretched over him, indifferent to him and his sufferings.”

“He must’ve known I’d run out on you.”
“No,” Harry corrected him. “He must’ve known you’d always want to come back.”

“The thing is, it helps when people stand up to them, it gives everyone hope.”

“Couple of kids more or less, what’s the difference?”
“The difference between truth and lies, courage and cowardice.”

- Some of my favorite Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows quotes, my real favorites were not included so they don’t possibly ruin the ending for any silly person who has not yet read the amazing series that defines my life.

As usual, here is a song you should listen too;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3jxvBIdWDo

Classic Justin Timberlake, bow down to his greatness!

Everything. Really. Before this class I was already interested in learning, the brain, and everything. I believe that any knowledge is good knowledge. I’d like to extend upon learning difficulties and the learning speed of a male versus a female.  Or I want to go more in-depth with why some people like to learn more than others and why. I’m very excited. But I don’t really know. My mind could change on what I want to study about learning. But I believe I want them to be my main focus.

Let the learning begin! *cape whoosing noise*

from a horrific movie. but nonetheless this quotes, I think, serves as a nice reminder. It’s from Saw WHICH I NEVER HAVE NOR WILL WATCH. Unless you like tie me down.

“Some people are so ungrateful to be alive, but not you… not anymore”

Hellllllllo. I am sick but I wrote this. Okay. I hope someone will read it.

No matter man nor animal you are born with knowledge. And it what keeps you alive. Besides your other internal organs (heart, lungs, kidneys, so on and so forth) your brain is what keeps you out of trouble and stops you from walking into an obvious trap. Or walking into a busy road. Brain is what gets you fed, and give you a bed to sleep in. Something that makes you different from everyone. Your knowledge. What you know, how you know it, planning in advance, being creative. To start off there is basically two types of knowledge, common sense and book smarts. Most, if not all will say, common sense is more important. Common sense is well, common! You are about to cross a road and a car is coming. You know to wait for it to pass and you had enough sense to look both ways, or at least one before crossing. It’s natural for most. Some have to learn it. As a child common sense is something you lack. You see a fire and think “oh pretty!” and want to touch it, no before thought of, what can this do to me? Some will hear a guardian cry out not to touch and maybe be scorned at, but will not touch it, doing as they are told. Others, myself probably included, will touch it regardless. You get burned, but you learn. Not only do you learn not to touch fire but you learn to think or ask before you do something.

Just because you are lucky enough to have or have earned common sense doesn’t mean you use it. Probably the biggest example of this is smoking. Everyone knows smoking is bad for you, and those around you. Not to mention it’s expensive. Close to 1.3 billion people smoke anyways. Billion. Not so “common” now is it? This shows that just because you have knowledge doesn’t mean you use it. It’s quite unfortunate actually. Everyday people know things are bad for them but insist upon doing them and doing them. Why? Because everyone wants to be a rebel, these things make people feel good, about life and themselves. Why worry about lung cancer in the future when I know I am alive today? Mitch Hedberg (comedian, and a damn good one) talks about how that would stop you from eating an apple since eventually it will be a core. I believe many people have stopped worrying about their future and started worrying about today. Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is your opinion but either way it can coerce and persuade your mind to make different decisions. In almost ever situation you are faced with either, should I take it and feel good now, or this could seriously get me addicted for life and I shouldn’t do it in the first place. Most teenagers will take the feel good now route. Again, who really knows what the better decision is. But life can be changed by one and one decision alone, so choose carefully.

I feel as if common sense is highly effected by who you surround yourself with at the moment or generally speaking. When with a group of friends where drugs is a regular mate you could be more lenient to try things, indulge, dip your feet in. Especially if you’re trying to impress. You don’t want to get the bad reputation among the cool kids as the “wimp”. Sure, instead you know you made the right choice in not trying but you still feel bad even about doing the right thing. It’s only normal. We are all conformist in that we all want to be nonconformists. Then again, if you surround yourself with a good environment that has open minds to things and no pressure to do, or not to do anything you can be more likely not to do things. At least I feel like that was the environment I was raised in and as of now I have no desire to drink, smoke or do drugs. It’s inexplicable, really. It just is neither here nor there for me. I think its all for looks at my age and I’m planning more ahead, and why would I need to indulge in something unappealing to me? The person I am mainly hurting by doing things is myself, my body, my future, my relationships. Over a temporary waste-of-money high? That’s just not me. But it’s easy for me to see why others want to. I don’t think it’s bad, I think it’s normal. You have to live on the edge to know not too. Or find out that you like it and it’s just who and how you are. I’m sure one day I’ll live on the edge. But not today, nope, not today.

One of the only things I really remember from my freshman year Algebra 2 math class was this story my math teacher, Mr.Twizler, told us. He told us the difference between logic and common sense through this story, here is how it goes; So his mother told him to get the cookies out of the oven, she did not say it is hot or to use oven mits therefore logic would tell you that it was safe to take them out. However, they are hot, being as they are freshly made cookies. Common sense would tell you that they are hot based on common knowledge that things taken out of an oven are more often then not, hot. Or you could use your sense, seeing the oven glowing or feeling the heat would tell you its not safe for your bare hands to touch. Simple story yet shows you the difference. Logic sounds more official, smarter, better. But it’s that common sense again that is saving you (but like I said, you don’t have to listen to it).

I like to believe that common sense and your conscious are one in the same, interchangeable. They both tell you what is right and what is wrong, what is good and bad. You are your own devil’s advocate and your own shoulder angel. Your mind will scream for you to go one way or another, but as all things in life, it isn’t that simple. You can only take one way out. Even with all the pressure around you, when you aren’t being forced, it all comes down to you. You can, and most likely will regret doing one choice and not the other but it had to be that way either way. So in a sense, regret is useless, because regret can happen by making something, or by not letting something happen. It’s one of those things that life hands you and you must accept while taking on the responsibility of being a human being.

With common sense comes trust. Do you not do things based on knowledge or possible outcomes you know about? Or do you know not to do things based on experience first hand? Alas, it is different for each of us and it differs for situations. You don’t really have to fear though because you have something with you that’s inexplicable and yours alone. Something no one can take from you. Your conscious to guide you, warn you, and help you. Your I like to think of it as my own personal God within me. Most people say they know when to get married because they feel it, or most people know to avoid something  for no apparent reason, but the reasons for both of these, I believe is your gut.

One thing I am a very firm believe in is your gut feeling, your intuition, subconsciousness.  Something that exists in children, animals, and adults alike. Something that can be one of the most important and helpful things you can possess. It’s the reason I am alive. One night I was like 2 or something (I obviously don’t remember this) and I was breathing weird as I was sleeping. My mother of course called the doctor asking what to do and he said sleep it off. My mother watched me and watched me and decided against the word of a doctor with years of experience and took me to the doctors. She had a feeling something just wasn’t right. Turns out, it wasn’t, I was having an asthma attack, or allergic reaction to my medicine and my throat was closing. I would have died if something within her screamed out to her to take me to the hospital. Nothing knowledge or a book could have told her, seeing as the doctor told her to let me just sleep it off. I have her subconsciousness to thank for that. It’s the reason when a (girls can mostly relate to this) a sketchy figure comes in the room and you have no idea who he is and no prior knowledge to assume he is a bad guy but you just have a funny feeling something just isn’t right. This has saved people. I believe children have the best subconsciousness of all. They cry when a random stranger communicates them or the might smile and laugh when another stranger communicates with them. I’m not saying you can base it solely of that but I feel as if there is something inexplicable guiding us and sometime you just have to blindly follow it.

Now it’s time to elaborate more on book smarts. Something that is infinite. You can never know all the knowledge is in the world. You simply are limited by time and space. You certainly can know a lot. Or be a professional in one subject. But you can not know it all. The endless argument over which is better, book smarts or sense is relentless because there is no answer. Nor does there have to be. They are both important in different situations. Books get you jobs, support your family, help you understand situations, and help you to construct a solid life. Whereas consciousness tells you to get changed in the morning, to watch both ways before you cross the road, and to put on gloves before pulling cookies out of the oven. The combination of the two are what makes life flow, what makes you question the world around you and help you find your way. It’s true you couldn’t live without common sense being that you would probably get yourself killed. Be that as it may, if you can’t read, write, do problems, or know how to work, you will go nowhere. You will stay at the bottom forever. When you know to cross the street and how to execute the quadratic formula your going somewhere. At least that is what I think.

The thing with book smarts is, it’s all up to you. You don’t have to know how to read or write. You don’t have to continue your education after high school. Sure there are stories of people who made if off of just that, but more commonly the ones who finished college make it better. What limits you in this style of learning is yourself. Personally, I enjoy learning, I think it’s a beautiful thing. Why? How? When? Where? The questions I ask are easily a google search away. Children don’t realize how lucky we are to have all these resources at our finger tips, to think our parents (or parents parents) would have to go to the library to find answers! Something that is almost unheard of in schools. And yet we waste our way our valuable time on this earth checking peoples status, knowing who is going out with who, or downloading music illegally. I can’t say I’m not guilty of this. It’s addicting. You can see into a persons world practically without them knowing. Though practically no one goes on the Internet to see what’s going on with the world today? Or look up the history of roller blades so on and so forth. But books smarts yield the answers to the questions we don’t ask yourself usually. Such as, who invented the computer? Why? When? You don’t necessarily need to know this stuff but its nice. Then again if you’re studying to become a neurosurgeon you aren’t going to learn where the cerebellum is based on you conscious or intuition (at least I hope not). That’s where books come in handy. They not only give you the basic knowledge of where and why but they give you the skills to extend upon it, the ability to make other assumptions or learn new things based upon it. You start reading the books then you start applying and extending and discovering.

This brings up something else. Would you rather do something you love or do something that makes money? Most people choose the latter. Most people also regret it. The regret it because like I said, they don’t know how the former would have played out, but since they don’t know they assume it would be better then where they are standing now. But being stuck in a cubical all day, like a robot, you eat, sleep, work and watch the world go by. Doesn’t sound relatively attractive, but then again, it pays the bills. Whereas living life as you want it as a sports star won’t necessarily yield any results unless you’re a prodigy of some sorts, yet you love to do it. Tough place to be in? Yes. This is where balance needs to come into play (unless of course you were lucky enough to have found something you love that pays well). From my last writing you know money makes the world go round so it’s incontrovertible that you need to earn it in some way, that will stabilize your well being, though happiness is one of the most important statuses in your life that, for your own good, you must keep up. So work in an office but on the weekend coach a softball team, or work at the Special Olympics. Something perhaps without pay but nonetheless makes you happy, which is a more satisfying payment for merely spending part of your day for a better cause.

All in all, you are born with a brain. Use it. Use it to change the world, a person, a community, an animal, yourself, your environment. The only thing holding you back is yourself. So not only should you live a little, you should learn a little. And when you learn share it with us because knowledge is at its height when shared. I believe the smartest of minds, ones that know way more then me, can still be limited. They know what they know and that’s it. Some of the smartest people I know I feel as if they are close-minded. They have their facts to back them up and therefore seem logical and correct (not to say stupid people aren’t limited, but everyone is in someway). But cold hard facts aren’t going to get you everywhere. Life is practically all guesswork and gray areas. You must learn to accept the unknown and take risks in something that perhaps isn’t 100% valid. Because if you don’t you’ll be left with facts and no room to grow. I want my friends and everyone to learn and love it as I do, learning is one thing that is marvelous to do together. When you open up your mind, and heart you find something beautiful. But you have to let it happen.

Lia Marie Antoinette Ferrante

Some quotes, yet again. Can’t get enough of these babies.

“Take a chance, take your shoes off, dance in the rain
Yea we’re splashing around and the news spread all over town
I’m not complaining that it’s raining, I’m just saying that I’d like it a lot
More than you think, if the sun would come out and sing with me
You remind me of a few of my famous friends
Well, that all depends what you qualify as friends”

- “I Have Friends In Holy Spaces” – Panic At The Disco

“You’ve never been so divine in accepting your defeat
And I’ve never been more scared to be alone.
If love is not enough to put my enemies to sleep
Then I’m putting out the lantern find your own way back home”

- “Folkin’ Around” – Panic At The Disco

“My whole existence is flawed, you get me closer to god
You can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings
You can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything”

“Closer” – Nine Inch Nails

“You’re keeping in step, in the line
Got your chin held high and you feel just fine,
Cause you do, what you’re told
But inside your heart it is black and it’s hollow and it’s cold
Just how deep do you believe?
Will you bite the hand that feeds?
Will you chew until it bleeds?
Can you get up off your knees?
Are you brave enough to see?
Do you want to change it?”

“The Hand That Feeds” – Nine Inch Nails

“We must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy.”

- Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Goblet Of Fire (Movie)

“Man’s becoming more corrupt now, godless, wicked, and cruel
The soulless man stood silenced, Mary’s words rang so true
Chastisement worse than the flood, spread the word, it’s all through
Don’t kill the messenger girl
As if we haven’t swam enough in this life of misery
Voice your prophecy, shed us some light
Feel sorrow for mankind’s chance to survive
Swallowed lies and swam in our own tears
A stab in the dark but it wounded our will.”

“The Wicked End” – Avenged Sevenfold

“May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
And may your song always be sung
May you stay forever young”

“Forever Young” – Bob Dylan (feat. Will.I.Am)

“We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, Harry, but battle on.”

“When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love.”

- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Book)

“After all this time?”
“Always,” said Snape.

- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Book)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdBYxiHjxwI <— I seriously beg you to listen to this song. Amazing song to an amazing movie. This song calms me down no matter what.  Simply beautiful.  Since you got to this point you might as well. Just the first 2 minutes and 45ish seconds. Since I couldn’t upload my itunes version.